Alberto Giacometti
You make me want,
Pavel Tchelitchew.
you’re dying, dying.
i yearn to bask in the bleak vacuous dark edge of the universe, i yearn.
i wallow in the depths of my festering youth, boiling, oozing, over flowing. i wallow.
misery loves company, i am a frequent guest.
you follow me so willingly
couldn’t even stop to think.
now we both lay, dying. dying.
i yearn to bask in the bleak vacuous dark edge of the universe, i yearn.
i wallow in the depths of my festering youth, boiling, oozing, over flowing. i wallow.
ever so softly, i cringe
The following is an online transcript (translated by Kina Moore) between Armin Meiwes (antrophagus) and Bernd-Jürgen Brandes (cator99) from March 6th 2001 (3 days prior to Brandes death) cator99: Hallllooooo???? q u i v e r
antrophagus: Hi, Cator, what do you do professionally, that you are up so late at night?
cator99: I can’t sleep well anymore because of our meeting
antrophagus: That’s a sensible reason. Yesterday I was incredibly tired, it was a stressful day
cator99: I’m in telecommunications
antrophagus: Oh, that sounds interesting
cator99: I believe you
antrophagus: I’m looking forward to our meeting, it will definitely be really cool
cator99: I want it to be & hope it’ll be really cool. Are you setting an alarm clock?
antrophagus: It’s only a few days until March 9
cator99: Still, I would have rather met you yesterday and felt your teeth
antrophagus: One can’t have everything. There’s still some time before you really feel my teeth
cator99: I hardly know what to expect. Have you slaughtered a man before?
antrophagus: Unfortunately, only in my dreams, but in my thoughts I do it every night
cator99: So I’m the first? You have eaten human flesh before, or you haven’t?
antrophagus: No, you don’t exactly find it in the supermarket, unfortunately
cator99: How do you know if it will taste good to you, or that the blood won’t make you sick?
antrophagus: I’m readying myself with my dreams. Once I was so excited I grabbed a needle and drew my own blood so I could drink it
cator99: And your blood, it tasted good to you?
antrophagus: It was quite tasty. Once I was drilling some holes and the drill slipped right into my hand, that was a real treat. Blood is the juice of life. It contains everything a person needs for nutrition
cator99: Then I hope you won’t wilt, that you can really see it through without a problem
antrophagus: To bite into your penis will certainly not be easy—living flesh is somewhat more resistant than fried—but one thing is certain: our dream will be fulfilled
cator99: But there’s not so much in it as there is in muscle
antrophagus: Yeah, but the penis is principally a spongy material filled with blood
cator99: For both our sakes, I hope that’s true. I hope you have also already thought about what’s to be done with the rest. Fulfilling the dream shouldn’t become a nightmare for you. No one will know where I’ve disappeared to
antrophagus: After you’re dead, I’ll take you out and expertly carve you up. Except for a pair of knees and some fleshy trash (skin, cartilage, tendons), there won’t be much of you left
cator99: There will be a good bit, like the knees, I hope you have a good hiding place for them
antrophagus: I’ll dry out the knees and grind them up soon after
cator99: Okay, they’re good as fertilizer, I heard that once. I see you’ve thought about it. Good! Sounds like I’m the first
antrophagus: And you won’t be the last, hopefully. I’ve already considered catching a young person from the street, but I would rather kill only those who want to be killed
cator99: That also doesn’t sound bad. But yeah, seeing as it’s not so totally legal, this is in my eyes better than yanking somebody directly off the street
antrophagus: Exactly, I’d do it, if it were legal
HA HA HA HA
i want to get out of this place, i want to team rocket into the sky and just leave a gleaming speck of light. my world has already fallen apart, and you fell with it. just leave me alone, i don’t want to be anymore.
maybe im the hero that kills goliath in the end.
im wallowing in my own filth again.
i love it, but i hate you
grah
somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond any experience,your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near your slightest look easily will unclose me though i have closed myself as fingers, you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens (touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose or if your wish be to close me, i and my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly, as when the heart of this flower imagines the snow carefully everywhere descending; nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility:whose texture compels me with the color of its countries, rendering death and forever with each breathing (i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens;only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses) nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands
Mental therapy
The throat is closing,
can’t breathe quite right just yet.
Solved that by dosing,
now, needs time to sit and set.
The stomach is empty,
I hear how hollow
it is when i walk,
like a jug of molasses,
across a bumpy road.
The throat is closing,
can’t breathe quite right just yet.
Solved that by dosing,
now, needs time to sit and set.
Fidget, on the bed,
fiddling with the pillows and the sheets.
Lay flat-back, right against the springs.
The heavy breath, is damp.
Leaving trails of cool sweat above the upper lip,
spreading to the palms, to the feet, spreading.
A tidal wave, escaping the lips
enveloping anything near.
The stomach is empty, though.
I don’t understand.
Wont let them see it,
no, not like this.
Crouch low near the ground with the head
between the knees.
The throat is closing,
can’t breathe quite right just yet.
Solved that by dosing,
now, needs time to sit and set.
The room is swaying, skewing the perception,
why now?
The ears can hear only hissing.
The monitor is blurring to jet-black,
leaving only one centered spec of reality
to peer into.
The throat is closing,
can’t breathe quite right just yet.
Solved that by dosing,
now, needs time to sit and set.
